I really didn't see it coming - how upset she was going to be. I think I thought she'd be so happy I felt the same way she did, that she'd overlook all of the other problems.
At first I thought she was just mad because I'm shallow, but that's not even the issue. She's upset about how I acted when I knew about her feelings and didn't return them. Or returned them but wasn't sure if I was going to do anything about it.
When I left her house on Sunday, she looked so heartbroken and angry, and I felt horrible. Because I did that to her. I hurt her like that.
She keeps throwing the friends word at me - "Maybe we can eventually be friends again."
I don't want to be friends. That's not enough. I know I don't deserve her, but I don't care.
I have to fix this. There has to be a way to fix this.
It's a blog.
My old blog was getting too much traffic, so I'm starting over here on Blogger because I was able to set it to private. I printed out the archives on the old blog and put them away. That's really all I'm using this for - to write my personal history on my private blog, which I'm pretty sure is set to private.
two weeks till opening day
